Hold It Loose

I just got back from a beach trip with my two sisters–we had a total of 3 adults and 6 kids ranging in age from 15 months to 11 years old. The cousins did a great job (for the most part) playing together on and off the beach and cramming in the bunk room to sleep. 

At night, later than we would prefer, we adults would retire (i.e. hide) to the front deck to hang out with no children interrupting us every 3 minutes. We talked so much about our kids, funny stories of things they’ve recently said and did, and our mom and what she would think of all these wild little humans (my mom passed away in October 2022 and is missed every day). 

As I drove home, I thought about all that we shared and that the main theme was this: we know our kids better than anyone else–but also they are who they are and can always surprise us. And in this realization, along with midlife moments, the older I get the more I realize this: we have so much less control in life than we think we do. I mean that is basically the ultimate lesson that all therapists are trying to teach us!

So my mantra going into this summer–and maybe eternally?–is “hold it loose”. Plans will change, kids will make not the best choices, moods and attitudes will flare, and really so much of it I can’t control. So I am holding it loose to ride the waves and watch the show of how these kids will continue to change and grow. (And I do think my mom would laugh and nod along with all of this.)

Do you have a mantra or posture you are taking to go into the summer? I would love to hear about it!–email me at cdziembowski@dtownctc.org.