It’s been a year with no alcohol for me as of this month. I never thought I would be a person who didn’t enjoy a glass of wine (or two) a few times a week, but here I am. I thought it might be helpful to share the things I have learned about myself here and please note I am only speaking about my personal experience.
During the beginning of the pandemic I noticed that I was having wine more evenings than usual. I mean–nowhere to go, nowhere to be, right? Plus my social media feed was filled with #thisiswhymomdrinks and the like messaging so we were all just trying to survive, right? Studies now show this was a thing–overall alcohol consumption increased among all Americans during Covid, and especially among mothers to small children.
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The move is complete. The kids are still bored at times, but much less so now that the internet abounds and we are easing into a summer rhythm.
Though now the boredom has been replaced with its friend, BIG FEELINGS.
These big feelings are likely due to the changes happening–moving, new house and neighborhood, out of routine–and I find my kids just EMOTING more… especially my tween. As an aside, one of my favorite podcasts, The Girl Next Door, had an episode on Parenting Tweens that I cannot recommend enough. In it they talked about how with their tweens the highs are real high, and the lows are real low, with not a lot in between. I FEEL THIS DEEPLY.
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Ahhh just barely a week into summer break and here we are already “bored.” Sometimes I would answer my kids by listing a bunch of activities they could do–which they of course would ultimately refuse. Sometimes I would offer to do something with them if I was able. But this summer, nope. No, THIS SUMMER is the summer of “figure it out, I am sure you will come up with something.” (I must note here my kids are 10 and 6 years old which makes this possible.)
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Friendship has been a topic I’ve seen coming up a lot in my phone life—podcast episodes (aside from ours) and Instagram posts. One person I follow, Laura Tremaine, just published a book about the importance of social support and how it’s good to have different kinds of friends for different parts of your life.
As I have consumed this social support content, I couldn’t help but think of the monthly peer parent meetings I attend. Yes, it is a CTC program, but I attend not as a CTC staff member but as an elementary parent looking to talk to other parents that may have similar experiences (like your 4th grader calling you “Brah” at every turn).
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Racing, racing, racing. It seems all I am doing this spring is racing from one thing to another.
If someone asks me how I am doing, I answer honestly: “Busy. Overwhelmed. We have a lot going on.” Do you feel this way too?
It’s a combination of normal life stuff—kids’ doctor appointments (including more endless sickness–truly when will it end?!), school events, soccer and ballet, and a busy time at work. But I also kind of feel like, how did this happen? How did I set up my time to be so tight? So nonstop that all the efforts I’ve previously written about—being present, finding time and space—have gone out the window?
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I was driving my fourth grader to school the other day and I said to him, “I have to get home and get set up for a podcast episode as soon as I drop you off.”
He asked what it was about and here is how the conversation went:
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Three quarters of my family are now all in therapy. As you know I am one of those quarters and am still really benefiting. Therapy for all! Maybe I will get us matching t-shirts…
One of my kids had a decent amount of paperwork to complete in preparation for their first appointment. It’s all done in a portal so I said to them, “Hey we need to answer these questions. How about I’ll ask and then you tell me your answers and I’ll enter them for you.”
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