Presence is the Greatest Gift
As we inch closer to the summer with each passing day, I find myself caught between two schools of thought: the first is--yay, no more virtual school work to complete, we will have open days to frolic and play! The second is--open days to frolic and play and more (more!) togetherness… yikes! I am starting to map out the summer and plug in activities and travel into the calendar, but there are still many days of “what are we doing today?” ahead of me.
Simultaneously, as often happens in the field of prevention, home and work life collide. I recently finished reading the latest book by Jessica Lahey, The Addiction Inoculation (highly recommend!) for parents about how to prevent substance use and dependence. In it are prevention to-dos for every age group and one (of several) stood out to me that I have been reflecting on how to work into our routines. These upcoming open summer days are proving to be a good opportunity to slow down and get back to basics.
One of the most important things that a parent can do to prevent their child from using substances is to connect with them and nurture a stable, loving relationship. Sounds simple and intuitive right? But when I look back on this past school year my kids and I haven’t been really connecting each day--we have been quasi connecting thanks to all the blurred lines of the pandemic (especially on days when both my husband and I had Zoom-meeting-heavy days). “Home” became: a 2nd grade classroom, two offices, a preschool classroom, plus the place we hang out, eat, sleep and live (and try to mildly maintain from reaching filth levels of complete dumpster fire). When our places and spaces are all out of whack, it is difficult to keep all the “modes” separate.
So my intention for this summer is to be present...really present. Engaged. To reconnect with my kids and have distraction free time with them (i.e. cell phone in another room). Set up those boundaries around these times together and hold them firm. Don’t get me wrong--I still have to carve out time for work (I am privileged to be able to work part time with flexibility), and there will still be Paw Patrol and Netflix screen time happening. However, in the open time I do have, I want to be mindful of being fully present for it. Because the summer always has a way of going fast and my time with them now, when they are little, will set the stage for them coming to me with problems or for help, if and when they need it, in a few short years. It is true what they say--the days are long, but the years are short!
About the Author:
Chrissie Dziembowski has worked in health education and the field of alcohol, tobacco and other drug (ATOD) prevention since 2008. She earned her Bachelor of Science and Master of Public Health degrees from West Chester University; she is also a Certified Health Education Specialist (CHES). Chrissie and her husband have two children and a newly adopted "small to medium" (77 lb....ahem) mutt. When not reflecting on parenting and consuming endless podcasts, she enjoys running, reading, time at the beach, and spending time with her family and friends.