Embracing the Boredom
“I’m bored.”
Ahhh just barely a week into summer break and here we are already “bored.” Sometimes I would answer my kids by listing a bunch of activities they could do–which they of course would ultimately refuse. Sometimes I would offer to do something with them if I was able. But this summer, nope. No, THIS SUMMER is the summer of “figure it out, I am sure you will come up with something.” (I must note here my kids are 10 and 6 years old which makes this possible.)
You see, we are moving. It's a local move within our current school district which lowers the stakes a bit, but still… We are moving. Fun fact: After a quick google search, moving comes up as one of the top most stressful life events. Similar to childbirth and having a newborn, I feel like moving is one of those things that gets stored in our minds as a hazy blur because if it didn’t, you would never do it again.
SO since my husband and I are occupied with maximizing these few short weeks we have to paint and clean the house we are moving into before we officially live there, we have no time to entertain “bored” kids. But I found some magic in this blatant ignoring of my kids. Let me explain.
So the new house is this magical place with NO INTERNET (yet). My kids will come with us to the house and they usually have a few things to help carry in and then they are on their own. Some days they have brought tablets and used them for a bit and then the inevitable “I am bored” would come, and my response would be, “Play with your sibling or find something to do. Next time bring some things to do with you.”
Then I go back to measuring or prepping walls to paint. To my pleasant surprise, the siblings who have been in a rough patch this past year, now are wrestling in an empty room, playing hide and seek, and one afternoon made up a “show” for us to watch. Who are these children?!
Maybe they needed a little less parent presence and more freedom to reignite their brother-sister love? Maybe they are getting along due to sheer desperation for entertainment with no other options for a playmate? Whatever it is, I will take it!
In a recent email I received from parenting coach, Mary Van Geffen, she (fortuitously) wrote about the importance of boredom. See the excerpt below I am sharing here with permission–also she is a great follow on instagram!
Therefore, we have to grow our capacity and skill set to handle the onslaught of “I’m bored!” that will be coming hard and fast at us all summer.
Your assignment: regardless of how many times they complain of being bored, keep repeating the same response. Restate the limits if needed, but your job is to be the most boring thing in the room.
It might sound like this:
Kid: "I’m so bored!"
You: "Oh dear, that sounds boring."
Kid: "Yeah it is, Mom! I’m soooo bored!"
You: "That does sound boring."
Kid: "Can I PLEASE play on the iPad?"
You: "We save our screen time until after 3pm on summer days."
Kid: "Then what am I supposed to do?!"
You: "I guess be bored…"
This isn’t easy, but neither is doing a song and dance list of all the things your child could possibly do to entertain themselves. That’s not your job.
So (with this script in hand) this summer shall continue to be the season of boredom and figuring out how to manage it, with little help from the adults–and I am here for it!
Have your kids already complained of being bored this summer? What is your response? I would love to hear it! Email me at cdziembowski@dtownctc.org