IT’S NOT YOU, IT’S ME.

The move is complete. The kids are still bored at times, but much less so now that the internet abounds and we are easing into a summer rhythm.

Though now the boredom has been replaced with its friend, BIG FEELINGS. 

These big feelings are likely due to the changes happening–moving, new house and neighborhood, out of routine–and I find my kids just EMOTING more… especially my tween. As an aside, one of my favorite podcasts, The Girl Next Door, had an episode on Parenting Tweens that I cannot recommend enough. In it they talked about how with their tweens the highs are real high, and the lows are real low, with not a lot in between. I FEEL THIS DEEPLY. 

Anyhow as the kids are having their big feelings both with me, and very much with each other, it is hard not to react and mirror the tone and level of energy they are sharing. They are whining and getting ramped up about who has to take a shower first (seriously?) so then I get ramped up at their gift to make literally any small thing into an argument. Turns out this is not helpful and can just escalate the situation and leave us all in bad moods. We actually have a podcast episode on Big Feelings that I should revisit to review how to stay regulated. 

So my goal for the rest of the summer is to meet their big feelings with neutrality. A blank face. Taking a deep breath before I respond. Respond, don’t react is another way to say this. It is like I need to put up a forcefield to keep their wild energy out and to not rock my ability to be calm. They are in a moody mood? That’s fine! Not my business. Not in my control. I can (try) to keep my brain and body in my own mood and energy regardless of whatever mode my kids are in. My meditation app does help with flexing this muscle…though I haven’t been on that thing since May so I need to get it back into my routine! (Another pod shoutout for our episode about parent mental health.) 

What do you do when your kids are sharing their big feelings with you? I would love to hear about it! Email me at cdziembowski@dtownctc.org