Update: Camp Big Brother
Back in April I wrote a post about my plan for finding time to work this summer using my older child as a helper with my younger one, I called it “Camp Big Brother”–you can read the post HERE–and I wanted to provide an update.
As with anything, I could for sure make a meme about “how it started vs how it's going” for this adventure. Back before school was over I met with my son to outline the expectations of Camp Big Brother (CBB)--the rules, the pay, how much time he would have to do this each week. He asked if he could use the money he earned for anything he wanted to get. I told him, ‘Yep, it's your money so you can save up to buy what you want as long as it is age appropriate.”
He asked, “Even a Nintendo Switch™?”
I said, “Sure, but it will take you a while and you will have to save up, but yep.” (Sidenote–we discussed to earn the price tag of this gaming system he would need to work consistently each week with CBB, save all allowance, AND find extra jobs if he wanted to purchase this by the fall. He seemed all in.) His eyes grew as big as saucers with dollar signs in them and he became ALL about CBB. This was in May.
June has come and gone and we front loaded our summer with travel so we didn’t start to get into “typical summer days” until recently. There have been some CBB sessions and here is a breakdown of the pros and cons:
PROS: During CBB I am able to work pretty peacefully with little to no interruptions. My daughter LOVES the attention she is getting from her older brother. It is time when they are playing and being imaginative–as CBB is a screen-free zone.
CONS: I am not getting nearly as much time as I was hoping to get out of this set up. My son only ever has the interest to do this for 1.5-2 hours max (his sense of urgency to work towards getting his prized video game has been replaced with his own yearning for a summer break i.e. playing with friends in the neighborhood and reading and listening to music ALONE; we have officially entered tween territory). So I have to fit in other time to work or strategically use their allotted screen time for my own work time.
The first day of CBB the kids were arguing within the first 10 minutes and I panicked and thought, “What have I done? This was a bad idea, they can’t handle this.” Then I took a deep breath, reviewed the rules and expectations with both kids again, and lowered the amount of time to start out with just an hour. We tried again. I left them alone to work it out. Miraculously, they did ok!
We are now up to max two hours, 2-3 days a week, which is not ideal, but it is a start. Luckily I have lots of flexibility in my hours in the summer and my kids are older and can entertain themselves with independent activities if needed. This would not be possible if my kids were younger and I am thankful for being in this parenting stage and their ages.
The thing that surprised me the most is the giant swing in motivation from my son. I was sure the carrot of working, saving, and having money to spend on a coveted toy would sustain his motivation to do this job, and do it well. But the call of slower, open summer days won out. And honestly, I can’t really blame him! But it is yet again a slap in the face of the parenting lesson, “We can be in charge, but not in control.” (I think I heard this one from Mary Van Geffen, popular Instagram parenting coach). I was in charge of creating CBB and choosing times to implement it, but I was not in control of how my son would feel about it or that he would change his mind.
I would love to hear how your summer is going! Email me at Cdziembowski@dtownctc.org or you can find me on Instagram @ctc_chrissie or on Facebook @CTCChrissie. Enjoy these summer days!